mossyfawnron

I lost myself for a while there. In the months between July and now, I’ve felt like a husk of a human, just a shell of what I was.

I think I can thank my friend Nicole for giving me the inspiration to start talking to a deity again.

She told me about a literal rabbit foot she found, and how she’s been finding feathers everywhere for a long time. I reflected, I have never found anything like that. And I truly believe finding things like that are gifts from a deity or the universe. Nicole told me, it’s definitely the fact she corresponds with archangel Michael on a regular basis.

I have never been drawn to a particular deity except Freyja. To me she represents being in tune with yourself, caring for yourself as well as others. In my life she reveals herself in the color red, and positive feelings. But I’ve not been talking to her, and I haven’t been making her offerings… dusting her altar, or doing any card work. That’s my own doing; I was (and arguably still am) in a very dark place.

So I decided to go downstairs and dust off my oracle cards, and talked to Freyja. She listened, and I felt a forgiving energy. I gave her an offering.

But now I feel like I have a hope for the future, I have actionable plans I’m putting in place to eat better and spend less, as well as devote some time to devotion (lol).

I want to show you my altar, it’s very special to me. I have the spell jar I made from my last spirituality post, and a bracelet draped over it. The bracelet is one I made from bone carved rune beads that spell FREJA and small Baltic amber beads around it. Amber is known as “Freyja’s tears” and is very connected to her. So, I also have an amber chunk in her basket, along with red jasper, and two ceramic cats (since she rides a chariot pulled by cats). In the foreground there is a rose petal, small dried flower, cat skull faux sea glass fragment, and a cat figurine. In the background I have a barred feather in a vertebrae, and rose quartz tower Nicole gifted me. Finally I have the “fresh offerings” tray which is an abalone shell currently holding three grapes. I’m not in a great spot financially so I did what I could.

Speaking of not being in a great financial spot, I realized I should start making grocery lists when I go to the store, so that I am more mindful of what I’m shopping for and therefore eating. I’ll cook at home more, helping me save money. I decided to make a goal of cooking one or two meals a week. I’ll make ingredient lists from the recipes I want to cook on one day, and shop, then cook the next day. I think breaking it up into smaller tasks will make it more manageable. I am planning on doing the list writing right after I water my plants every Saturday. If I’m already in “doing things mode”, I think it’ll be easier to start another task.

Anyways, I will be successful. I’m speaking it into existence. I will change my eating habits, spending habits, and spirituality practices.

Maybe I will find a gift some time… not sure what it will be, maybe a bone or a feather, maybe something else. I’m excited to see what happens!